Out of all the Joestar line, Joseph is literally the mostridiculous. While the situations he faces and the people he meets are pretty damn strange (and usually named after classic rock references), throughout the whole bizarre adventure, Joseph is probably one of the most bizarre characters encountered by the reader. He's a man of paradoxical extremes-- incredibly self-oriented, but all his strategies are based on understanding others better than they understand themselves; endlessly rash and impulsive (everything's DO OR DIE), but always thinking ahead five, six, seven steps; the ultimate trickster, but genuine with his feelings. And he's loud, too. Since this is a personality section of an application, I'm going to break down each of these points ad nauseam or at least until you start hating me for all the tl;dr. pls dont hate me weeps gently onto haven
Alright, let's start with the paradox between his self-orientation and his understanding of others. Prior to the start of the story, Joseph has, like, no friends whatsoever. Not because he's some kinda shut in or anti social whatever. It's because he's straight up a punk. He's rude, he's sassy, and he always has to comment on the situation at hand, even if it starts fights or gets him arrested... a lot. He picks fights and starts fights and finishes 'em in the same breath, all while using his inherited Ripple power for everything it was never intended for. If he knows someone's hunting him down, he still goes about his business, even if it means getting attacked by an immortal vampire while in a busy diner with a friend (where the potential for causalities is high). This isn't because he wants other people to get hurt. It's because the idea that others might get caught up in the fight never crosses his mind. It seems like the only people he's ever cared for in his life previous to the story's start are his grandmother Erina and his "uncle" Speedwagon. If anything upsets them or hurts them (emotionally or otherwise), he does a backwards pirouette flip right off the handle before landing a perfect ten with his fist in the threat's face and wins the Beijing Olympics. The Beijing Olympics then begins an investigation into steroid use because he's just too damn good at it. As a kid, even when terrorists attempted to kidnap and ransom Speedwagon, Joseph didn't give a fuck until one of them ruined his shirt that Erina gave him. His response was to immediately crash the plane and steal the only parachutes for himself, Speedwagon, and the Speedwagon Foundation pilot. When a member of one of New York's gang leaders told Erina and Joseph of Speedwagon's supposed death in Mexico, Joseph beat the shit out of him for upsetting Erina. This was right before Joseph took off on his motorcycle to Mexico to see what the hell happened to Speedwagon. Later, during his first fight against Wham, Joseph willingly used himself as a distraction so that Caesar could get Speedwagon to safety. He has a very small set of people that he cares a lot for, and everyone else is free game to sass and harass-- however, even those in that small circle of friends and family aren't safe from his bullshit. Time and time again, he unknowingly stomps all over people's emotions, and while he genuinely regrets doing so, at the time it happens, he has no clue. Pretty much anything he ever says to Lisa Lisa when he's not insanely impressed with her and her strength is atrocious. Especially when we consider the fact that she's his mom (which hes not aware of at the time sob). At one point, Joseph gets in an argument with Caesar over fulfilling their family legacies-- Joseph doesn't give a crap about old dead guys and what they might have wanted out of life, but Caesar's Zeppeli legacy is his driving force. After listening to Joseph shit all over family lineages, Caesar charges off to fight Cars alone and dies when he encounters Wham. Whoops. It was only after Lisa Lisa explained Caesar's backstory that Joseph realized he done hecked up-- it wasn't because when Joseph first started running his mouth, and Caesar got angry. It was because someone had to sit down and say "Joseph, that hurt his feelings and this is why."
So we've gone over what an emotional fuckwit Joseph can be, but remember: he's also a one man absurdist reality. Almost every situation he's in, almost every conversation he has, he's endlessly predicting what the other will do or say next, and he's doing it with some crazy accuracy. One of his favorite things to do is outright say, "THE NEXT THING YOU'LL SAY IS... [whatever the person is going to say next]" just to fuck with people. It works in two ways-- 1) it shows that he understands the other person and their mentality, and 2) it's a damn fine way to throw off his opponents (and he knows it). He's observant of other people and their actions to an almost obsessive degree, kinda like Sherlock Holmes if Sherlock were a loudmouthed asshole and didn't care about solving crimes. He can tell where you've been, what you were doing, and that you've mistakenly misplaced your brass knuckles in the wrong pocket just by the stains on your jacket. He can also set up a clever trap, know you'll outsmart that trap, and have another, massive overarching trap ready to snatch you up the moment you outsmart his first one. The perfect example of this is during his fight against AC/DC-- Joseph subtly unwound the fabric of his wool hat to create a net, but tied it in such an elaborate way, so that while AC/DC realized that Joseph was setting up a Ripple barrier using the thread, when AC/DC cut the thread, the barrier still stood. Joseph predicted that AC/DC was sharp enough to notice his subtle administrations and rapidly diminishing hat, and he played off that. Other examples include his final fight with Wham-- while Wham was sucking in air to create a wind knife (shut up it happens omg), Joseph threw a vial of oil with a burning wick. He knew Wham would destroy it, which he did, so right after, Joseph threw Caesar's burning headband. Yet again, he knew Wham would tear it up, but because he inhaled and vaporized the oil from the original bomb and inhaled the burning pieces of Caesar's headband, Wham was toast... if toast exploded and became a disembodied head in the toaster. All of these situations are examples of how Joseph waits for people to let their guard down-- he observes, understands them, their actions, and their mentalities, and then takes advantages of any mistakes they make or any point where they underestimate him.
While Joseph might not be the most academically oriented of characters, he knows the Art of War by heart and lives that shit every goddamn day. Sun Tzu is his forever boy, and because of that, Joseph won't start a fight or accept a challenge unless he already knows he can win or he's forced into it. He'll use anything and everything to gain the upperhand in fighting and in life, even if it's something considered unfair or not honorable. When Speedwagon is presumed dead while investigating the Stone Masks, Joseph knows whoever did it will come after him next and prepares accordingly-- by hiding a ridiculous sum of grenades and a tommy gun on his person. In the end, what eventually saves him in his fight against Straits were shot glasses he picked up in the bar where the fight began. Conversely, if he doesn't really know what's up with a situation, he'll wait before acting-- either stalling for time or just fucking around. When he meets the first Pillar Man (Santana) in Mexico, his first response isn't to fight, despite the dozen or so dead Nazis on the ground around Santana. Joseph's first reaction is to try and chat Santana up, claiming that he doesn't know if Santana's an enemy or not. In actuality, that's total bull. He knows that he's going to have to fight his way out of the Nazi military compound to save Speedwagon, but his little song and friendship attempts with Santana are entirely to buy time to 1) get more of a reading on Santana, and 2) come up with a plan of attack with the priority of getting Speedwagon the fuck outta there. In fact, Joseph doesn't really care much about fighting Santana until Stroheim (the only surviving Nazi) tells Joseph that Santana's a huuuuuuugeass threat to the surrounding population and Santana attacks Speedwagon. In the end, it's not his strength or Ripple power that saves him-- it's remembering where the sun is at noon near the equator and how a well with the sun directly overhead will reflect sunlight. It's taking advantage of his surroundings and his opponent's mistakes.
First paradox down, slam bam thank u ma'am. Let's get on the floor, and let's move on the to next: his rash attitude towards life and his endless calculation.
Joseph is a rash guy. He's the type of guy who says what's on his mind whenever it's on his mind, fuck mental filters. He's always running his mouth, no matter how serious the situation, and he's always loud about it. He's gonna hit on a girl if he sees her (even if he just nearly died while fighting AC/DC), he's gonna peep on his magical kung fu master when she's in the bath, and he's going to massively regret peeping on his magical kung fu master when she's in the bath after he finds out that she's his mom. He marries a girl he only knew for a month and sticks with her his whole life. His temper is ridiculous, especially against insults to his intelligence, and often causes him to just do dumb shit. For example, you're in a room with 200 vampires and one of them calls you dumb. Your options are a) get the fuck outta there bro, b) ignore it and focus on the two nearly naked Aztec vampire gods threatening your life, c) cry more crying will help, d) call that one vampire out and tell 199 of his best vampire Nazi buddies to keep out of it. Spoiler warning: Joseph chose d.
In fights, too, he'll come up with rash, last minute plans. Once Caesar gets to know him and they're BFFS 4LYFE, Caesar explains that when confronted with a trying situation, Joseph's probably going to come up with some ridiculous DO OR DIE solution. In this case, he used a long string of falling icicles to create a rope and not die when falling off a cliff. Caesar, unlike pretty much any sane person ever, effectively predicted that Joseph would do something so brilliantly dumb and ended up saving Joseph's ass because of it. If success means crashing a plane he hijacked from the Nazis into a volcano to kill PETA's biggest fan (who also happens to also be the ultimate being) (im talkin about Cars here), then sure why not what a great plan. Later launch yourself and PETA's biggest fan into space using the volcano? Yeah, cool. Did you plan any of this? Kinda maybe sorta not really. If anyone asks? Totally all according to plan. Even as an old man in his 80s during part four, he still forms his plans in much the same way. Slitting your wrists to taint clear water to find an invisible baby? Brilliant, A+, very nice.
Joseph is also the world's luckiest man (move the fuck over, DIO). Because his plans are so ridiculous and because he's the quintessential example of 'putting all your eggs in one basket,' it's a lot of luck and good fortune that carries him through. Without Caesar to predict that Joseph would use the icicles, Joseph would be dead. Without Wham blinding himself, he wouldn't have been able to use Caesar's headband to carry fire into his body. It was lucky that he picked up the Red Stone of Aja during his fight against Cars, and it was lucky that Stroheim hid away on the Nazi plane Joseph hijacked. In the end, it was lucky that Suzie Q was the one who found him after the volcano eruption. Luck carries a lot of his plans through to the end, but there are plenty of them that are just so blatantly dumb, and it's so obvious Joseph thinks they're smart-- it's embarrassing (dressing up as a ridiculously buff woman delivering tequila to Nazis in Mexico, for example). But hey, he says that luck's nothing but applied talent, you know. He's either being impressively brilliant or absolutely fucking dumb, nothing in between.
The important thing to note is that in life, he doesn't focus so much on the consequences as he does on the winning. At the end of the fight, he doesn't calculate whether or not he'll be alive or what loses there might be-- instead, he just focuses on the end goal of winning. Which can get him in a lot of trouble, as you can imagine.
Conversely, though, he calculates. Remember all that Sun Tzu shit from above and his observations of others? That's still a thing, even when he's not thinking about his own morality during a fight, you can sure as hell bet he's thinking of his opponent's and how to best exploit it. He'd be damn good at chess if he ever had the patience for it, and his endless calculations are probably why, after the events of Battle Tendency (part two), he goes to New York and becomes a ridiculously successful real estate agent. He's good at it, and he knows it, so when his calculations are wrong or he fucks up, it throws him way off. The important thing to note, though, is that his calculations and observations are based outward, not inward. He rarely self critiques, rarely reflects on his own thoughts and actions-- basically the exact opposite of what I'm doing here. The few times he does, he simply says "worrying won't do me any good now," and promptly focuses on everything else and not himself. All his calculations are based on his outward surroundings, and he always uses his observations and calculations in his rash, DO OR DIE plans.
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Out of all the Joestar line, Joseph is literally the most ridiculous. While the situations he faces and the people he meets are pretty damn strange (and usually named after classic rock references), throughout the whole bizarre adventure, Joseph is probably one of the most bizarre characters encountered by the reader. He's a man of paradoxical extremes-- incredibly self-oriented, but all his strategies are based on understanding others better than they understand themselves; endlessly rash and impulsive (everything's DO OR DIE), but always thinking ahead five, six, seven steps; the ultimate trickster, but genuine with his feelings. And he's loud, too. Since this is a personality section of an application, I'm going to break down each of these points ad nauseam or at least until you start hating me for all the tl;dr. pls dont hate me weeps gently onto haven
Alright, let's start with the paradox between his self-orientation and his understanding of others. Prior to the start of the story, Joseph has, like, no friends whatsoever. Not because he's some kinda shut in or anti social whatever. It's because he's straight up a punk. He's rude, he's sassy, and he always has to comment on the situation at hand, even if it starts fights or gets him arrested... a lot. He picks fights and starts fights and finishes 'em in the same breath, all while using his inherited Ripple power for everything it was never intended for. If he knows someone's hunting him down, he still goes about his business, even if it means getting attacked by an immortal vampire while in a busy diner with a friend (where the potential for causalities is high). This isn't because he wants other people to get hurt. It's because the idea that others might get caught up in the fight never crosses his mind. It seems like the only people he's ever cared for in his life previous to the story's start are his grandmother Erina and his "uncle" Speedwagon. If anything upsets them or hurts them (emotionally or otherwise), he does a backwards pirouette flip right off the handle before landing a perfect ten with his fist in the threat's face and wins the Beijing Olympics. The Beijing Olympics then begins an investigation into steroid use because he's just too damn good at it. As a kid, even when terrorists attempted to kidnap and ransom Speedwagon, Joseph didn't give a fuck until one of them ruined his shirt that Erina gave him. His response was to immediately crash the plane and steal the only parachutes for himself, Speedwagon, and the Speedwagon Foundation pilot. When a member of one of New York's gang leaders told Erina and Joseph of Speedwagon's supposed death in Mexico, Joseph beat the shit out of him for upsetting Erina. This was right before Joseph took off on his motorcycle to Mexico to see what the hell happened to Speedwagon. Later, during his first fight against Wham, Joseph willingly used himself as a distraction so that Caesar could get Speedwagon to safety. He has a very small set of people that he cares a lot for, and everyone else is free game to sass and harass-- however, even those in that small circle of friends and family aren't safe from his bullshit. Time and time again, he unknowingly stomps all over people's emotions, and while he genuinely regrets doing so, at the time it happens, he has no clue. Pretty much anything he ever says to Lisa Lisa when he's not insanely impressed with her and her strength is atrocious. Especially when we consider the fact that she's his mom (which hes not aware of at the time sob). At one point, Joseph gets in an argument with Caesar over fulfilling their family legacies-- Joseph doesn't give a crap about old dead guys and what they might have wanted out of life, but Caesar's Zeppeli legacy is his driving force. After listening to Joseph shit all over family lineages, Caesar charges off to fight Cars alone and dies when he encounters Wham. Whoops. It was only after Lisa Lisa explained Caesar's backstory that Joseph realized he done hecked up-- it wasn't because when Joseph first started running his mouth, and Caesar got angry. It was because someone had to sit down and say "Joseph, that hurt his feelings and this is why."
So we've gone over what an emotional fuckwit Joseph can be, but remember: he's also a one man absurdist reality. Almost every situation he's in, almost every conversation he has, he's endlessly predicting what the other will do or say next, and he's doing it with some crazy accuracy. One of his favorite things to do is outright say, "THE NEXT THING YOU'LL SAY IS... [whatever the person is going to say next]" just to fuck with people. It works in two ways-- 1) it shows that he understands the other person and their mentality, and 2) it's a damn fine way to throw off his opponents (and he knows it). He's observant of other people and their actions to an almost obsessive degree, kinda like Sherlock Holmes if Sherlock were a loudmouthed asshole and didn't care about solving crimes. He can tell where you've been, what you were doing, and that you've mistakenly misplaced your brass knuckles in the wrong pocket just by the stains on your jacket. He can also set up a clever trap, know you'll outsmart that trap, and have another, massive overarching trap ready to snatch you up the moment you outsmart his first one. The perfect example of this is during his fight against AC/DC-- Joseph subtly unwound the fabric of his wool hat to create a net, but tied it in such an elaborate way, so that while AC/DC realized that Joseph was setting up a Ripple barrier using the thread, when AC/DC cut the thread, the barrier still stood. Joseph predicted that AC/DC was sharp enough to notice his subtle administrations and rapidly diminishing hat, and he played off that. Other examples include his final fight with Wham-- while Wham was sucking in air to create a wind knife (shut up it happens omg), Joseph threw a vial of oil with a burning wick. He knew Wham would destroy it, which he did, so right after, Joseph threw Caesar's burning headband. Yet again, he knew Wham would tear it up, but because he inhaled and vaporized the oil from the original bomb and inhaled the burning pieces of Caesar's headband, Wham was toast... if toast exploded and became a disembodied head in the toaster. All of these situations are examples of how Joseph waits for people to let their guard down-- he observes, understands them, their actions, and their mentalities, and then takes advantages of any mistakes they make or any point where they underestimate him.
While Joseph might not be the most academically oriented of characters, he knows the Art of War by heart and lives that shit every goddamn day. Sun Tzu is his forever boy, and because of that, Joseph won't start a fight or accept a challenge unless he already knows he can win or he's forced into it. He'll use anything and everything to gain the upperhand in fighting and in life, even if it's something considered unfair or not honorable. When Speedwagon is presumed dead while investigating the Stone Masks, Joseph knows whoever did it will come after him next and prepares accordingly-- by hiding a ridiculous sum of grenades and a tommy gun on his person. In the end, what eventually saves him in his fight against Straits were shot glasses he picked up in the bar where the fight began. Conversely, if he doesn't really know what's up with a situation, he'll wait before acting-- either stalling for time or just fucking around. When he meets the first Pillar Man (Santana) in Mexico, his first response isn't to fight, despite the dozen or so dead Nazis on the ground around Santana. Joseph's first reaction is to try and chat Santana up, claiming that he doesn't know if Santana's an enemy or not. In actuality, that's total bull. He knows that he's going to have to fight his way out of the Nazi military compound to save Speedwagon, but his little song and friendship attempts with Santana are entirely to buy time to 1) get more of a reading on Santana, and 2) come up with a plan of attack with the priority of getting Speedwagon the fuck outta there. In fact, Joseph doesn't really care much about fighting Santana until Stroheim (the only surviving Nazi) tells Joseph that Santana's a huuuuuuugeass threat to the surrounding population and Santana attacks Speedwagon. In the end, it's not his strength or Ripple power that saves him-- it's remembering where the sun is at noon near the equator and how a well with the sun directly overhead will reflect sunlight. It's taking advantage of his surroundings and his opponent's mistakes.
First paradox down, slam bam thank u ma'am. Let's get on the floor, and let's move on the to next: his rash attitude towards life and his endless calculation.
Joseph is a rash guy. He's the type of guy who says what's on his mind whenever it's on his mind, fuck mental filters. He's always running his mouth, no matter how serious the situation, and he's always loud about it. He's gonna hit on a girl if he sees her (even if he just nearly died while fighting AC/DC), he's gonna peep on his magical kung fu master when she's in the bath, and he's going to massively regret peeping on his magical kung fu master when she's in the bath after he finds out that she's his mom. He marries a girl he only knew for a month and sticks with her his whole life. His temper is ridiculous, especially against insults to his intelligence, and often causes him to just do dumb shit. For example, you're in a room with 200 vampires and one of them calls you dumb. Your options are a) get the fuck outta there bro, b) ignore it and focus on the two nearly naked Aztec vampire gods threatening your life, c) cry more crying will help, d) call that one vampire out and tell 199 of his best vampire Nazi buddies to keep out of it. Spoiler warning: Joseph chose d.
In fights, too, he'll come up with rash, last minute plans. Once Caesar gets to know him and they're BFFS 4LYFE, Caesar explains that when confronted with a trying situation, Joseph's probably going to come up with some ridiculous DO OR DIE solution. In this case, he used a long string of falling icicles to create a rope and not die when falling off a cliff. Caesar, unlike pretty much any sane person ever, effectively predicted that Joseph would do something so brilliantly dumb and ended up saving Joseph's ass because of it. If success means crashing a plane he hijacked from the Nazis into a volcano to kill PETA's biggest fan (who also happens to also be the ultimate being) (im talkin about Cars here), then sure why not what a great plan. Later launch yourself and PETA's biggest fan into space using the volcano? Yeah, cool. Did you plan any of this? Kinda maybe sorta not really. If anyone asks? Totally all according to plan. Even as an old man in his 80s during part four, he still forms his plans in much the same way. Slitting your wrists to taint clear water to find an invisible baby? Brilliant, A+, very nice.
Joseph is also the world's luckiest man (move the fuck over, DIO). Because his plans are so ridiculous and because he's the quintessential example of 'putting all your eggs in one basket,' it's a lot of luck and good fortune that carries him through. Without Caesar to predict that Joseph would use the icicles, Joseph would be dead. Without Wham blinding himself, he wouldn't have been able to use Caesar's headband to carry fire into his body. It was lucky that he picked up the Red Stone of Aja during his fight against Cars, and it was lucky that Stroheim hid away on the Nazi plane Joseph hijacked. In the end, it was lucky that Suzie Q was the one who found him after the volcano eruption. Luck carries a lot of his plans through to the end, but there are plenty of them that are just so blatantly dumb, and it's so obvious Joseph thinks they're smart-- it's embarrassing (dressing up as a ridiculously buff woman delivering tequila to Nazis in Mexico, for example). But hey, he says that luck's nothing but applied talent, you know. He's either being impressively brilliant or absolutely fucking dumb, nothing in between.
The important thing to note is that in life, he doesn't focus so much on the consequences as he does on the winning. At the end of the fight, he doesn't calculate whether or not he'll be alive or what loses there might be-- instead, he just focuses on the end goal of winning. Which can get him in a lot of trouble, as you can imagine.
Conversely, though, he calculates. Remember all that Sun Tzu shit from above and his observations of others? That's still a thing, even when he's not thinking about his own morality during a fight, you can sure as hell bet he's thinking of his opponent's and how to best exploit it. He'd be damn good at chess if he ever had the patience for it, and his endless calculations are probably why, after the events of Battle Tendency (part two), he goes to New York and becomes a ridiculously successful real estate agent. He's good at it, and he knows it, so when his calculations are wrong or he fucks up, it throws him way off. The important thing to note, though, is that his calculations and observations are based outward, not inward. He rarely self critiques, rarely reflects on his own thoughts and actions-- basically the exact opposite of what I'm doing here. The few times he does, he simply says "worrying won't do me any good now," and promptly focuses on everything else and not himself. All his calculations are based on his outward surroundings, and he always uses his observations and calculations in his rash, DO OR DIE plans.