While the majority of your application looks okay, we'd like to ask for a revise of the previous game history and personality sections.
The reason for this, is that we feel the previous game history section only briefly touches on things that would have been significant to the character, which is also why we would like a revision of the personality section. We would like to see more on how these events changed or influenced him, and how his character may have altered as a consequence.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions. Thank you.
-> REVISE
The reason for this, is that we feel the previous game history section only briefly touches on things that would have been significant to the character, which is also why we would like a revision of the personality section. We would like to see more on how these events changed or influenced him, and how his character may have altered as a consequence.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions. Thank you.