While the information looks good, we would like to request a new first person sample and for the whole application to be proofread and resubmitted due to the notable amount of grammatical and spelling errors present. The reason to that is because we feel that what’s given in the first person sample are all too short, which makes it hard to distinguish the character’s voice. More introspection would also be appreciated, if Hibari is not a talkative character.

You have one week to submit these revisions. We apologize for the inconvenience, thank you.