While the majority of the application looks fine, we would like to ask for a revised history section.
The reason for this is that we feel parts that would be important to Helios were glossed over - for example, Nero's abuse. It was never mentioned exactly what sort of abuse he was suffering and how it came about that Neros turned to abuse from sibling rivalry. As well it wasn't mentioned how his parents died and how that impacted him. Secondly, the section regarding Apep reads as confusing in parts. We would please like a clarification of what exactly Apep did to Elise to hurt Helios, and how/why he is tainted as well.
It should also be noted that, as pets are not permitted in Haven, that the dragons would not arrive with Helios.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions, thank you.
-> REVISE
The reason for this is that we feel parts that would be important to Helios were glossed over - for example, Nero's abuse. It was never mentioned exactly what sort of abuse he was suffering and how it came about that Neros turned to abuse from sibling rivalry. As well it wasn't mentioned how his parents died and how that impacted him. Secondly, the section regarding Apep reads as confusing in parts. We would please like a clarification of what exactly Apep did to Elise to hurt Helios, and how/why he is tainted as well.
It should also be noted that, as pets are not permitted in Haven, that the dragons would not arrive with Helios.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions, thank you.