While the majority of the application looks good, we'd like to ask for a revised personality section.
The personality section as it stands reads much like a history section. There is a lot of summarizing of events in the book that dwarf the parts where you talk about how Bran reacted in those moments. Though it isn't bad to summarize, there are many paragraphs that are just pure summary with a line or two about how Bran felt in that moment and those aren't necessary for this section.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions. Thank you.
-> REVISE
The personality section as it stands reads much like a history section. There is a lot of summarizing of events in the book that dwarf the parts where you talk about how Bran reacted in those moments. Though it isn't bad to summarize, there are many paragraphs that are just pure summary with a line or two about how Bran felt in that moment and those aren't necessary for this section.
We apologize for the inconvenience. You have one week to reply to these revisions. Thank you.